Tuesday, September 28th, 2021

P Shopper Columns



KNOWING OURSELVES




In a time of rapid change in almost every sphere and phase of life, we have choices! We can let our feelings take charge or call upon our thoughts or merge the two to determine both who we are and who we want to be.

Regardless of what demands our attention, we are responsible for what we choose to participate in, whether we react or respond, and how we contribute, learn, enjoy, or ignore. If we don’t stop for a moment to understand who we are, who we want to be, and strive to become our highest selves, we may be making a decision we will regret.

Time is more valued when there seems to be less of it.  
I choose to see that as a gift.




Being present is a gift to ourselves and to those around us. What is happening in the moment asks for attention and can be ignored or celebrated. Everything we choose to do, think, and feel influences our lives and determines who we are and who we will become.

How do we want to spend our lives? Not everything is a choice, but most are. What we hope to achieve, who we live with, work with, admire, or reject, has an influence on who we are and who we become.  It is an ongoing process.  

We don’t have to tell each other of our shortcomings,
but we really need to recognize them for our own good.
 It’s not like they were a big secret anyway....
Our flaws are
probably best known
by those closest to us.


It is never too late to influence our own lives. We can participate in making life better for ourselves by what we give to and take from others. It begins with family. I personally believe participation with family is priceless. I would live in a family compound if it were my decision rather than a group’s decision. Hyannis Port was a famous example. The Kennedy clan certainly projected family togetherness, and history witnessed the assets and the costs that it set in motion.

Life is rich with opportunity, and each stage in life can be enriched. Being in a late-stage comes with more time available for being honest with and about ourselves. I am more able to take note of my shortcomings now than when I was starting out in life. Time is more valued when there seems to be less of it. I choose to see that as a gift. We don’t have to tell each other of our shortcomings, but we really need to recognize them for our own good. It’s not like they were a big secret anyway. Chances are high that they are far more obvious than we might expect! Our flaws are probably best known by those closest to us who made a conscious choice to overlook them.



Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 39 years.