Before the emergence of suburbs following World War II, houses in most towns and neighborhoods were closer together than they are these days. They typically had front porches where, on warm evenings, people typically gathered to wind down from the busyness of the day. From their front porches, they typically could see the other houses on their street as well as their neighbors sitting on their front porches. Everywhere they looked, they were reminded they were part of something bigger than themselves-a neighborhood. This community hadn't been planned but was simply the result of different people from different backgrounds deciding, for different reasons, to live in the same place.
Respecting personal differences was considered the hallmark of American life. Everyone had the right to believe what they wished, say what they wished, own whatever property they could afford, and manage that property as they wished. You didn't have to like or agree with your neighbors' choices, but as long as they weren't infringing on your right to make your own choices, you were expected to respect their rights and live with their differences.
That could be downright galling if your neighbor painted their house some gaudy, tasteless color, turning the property into an eye-sore. But what makes a color tasteless is...well...a matter of personal taste. And what makes something an eye-sore is often in the eye of the beholder. Even if everyone in the neighborhood hated the house's color, what could they do? March en masse on that house and demand their neighbor paint it a popular publicly-approved color? That sort of behavior would have been seen as Un-American- the sort of thing Americans found so abhorrent in countries under the control of dictatorships or mob rule.
An unpleasant truth of history is a human tendency to revert to a mob mentality. It's easy to interpret a rejection of our neighborhood's status quo or a change in its traditions as an imminent attack on the neighborhood itself. From that defensive posture, it can be easy to justify an offensive first strike. But history is strewn with tragedies born of such behavior. Better to tolerate your neighbor's choice of house paint.
Of course, you always have the right to say something to your neighbor-indirectly or directly. You could hint that another paint might look stunning on their house, or you could bluntly tell them that you think the color on their house looks horrible. Either way, you run the risk of undermining your relationship with them. Maybe you decide maintaining a friendship with them is more important than venting your frustrations. Maybe not. That is your choice. But whichever you choose to do, the fact remains that the color your neighbor paints their house is their choice, and you must learn to make peace with it.
That mindset, that philosophy, that approach to living with differences is essentially what we are celebrating on July Fourth. So, whatever the color of our houses, a Happy Fourth to us all!
Rob Lauer is an award-winning, nationally-produced and published playwright with over 35 years of experience in the entertainment industry. His national credits include production work for MGA Films, Time/Warner TV, The Learning Channel and The History Channel. Locally, Rob has been producing, directing and hosting three TV series for PCTV (the City of Portsmouth’s official channel) since 2011.