For years I believed that I had barely graduated from high school because my grades were so poor. I honestly thought that my worst grades had been in Chemistry. This belief impacted how I saw myself; I put limitations on myself because of it. I even put off working on my doctorate degree for a long time because I believed it would be too much for me. Then, some time ago, I had a huge surprise.

Karen and I were going through old papers when she found my high school report card from my senior year. She brought it to me and said, "I thought you said you didn't make good grades in high school."

"I didn't," I replied.
"Well, look at this report card," Karen continued. "It is all A's and B's. Even your Chemistry grade is good."

I was amazed! How in the world did I get this wrong belief about myself? For most of my life, I have struggled with it and put limitations on myself because of it. How did that happen? The question for me now was: would this new information change how I view myself? Would I now discard those limitations I placed on myself?

What if you found out that you have been believing a lie about yourself and your capabilities? What changes would you make? Or would you continue as you are?

The question for all of us is: "What lies are we living with?" Because of these limiting beliefs, we fail to take advantage of the opportunities that could be ours.

Let us challenge one of the beliefs that limit many of us: "Everyone should like me." When we operate with the belief that everyone should like us, we are minimized if a person is upset with us or criticizes us. We think the problem is with us, not them.

In her book "Celtic Daily Prayer," Mary Lyon pointed out: "Nine-tenths of our suffering is caused by others not thinking as much of us as we think they ought." It seems the more we seek another's approval, the worse we feel about ourselves.

It would be healthy for us to ask ourselves: "Why do I keep trying to impress other people? Each time I do it, I feel worse about myself. I know it doesn't work, but I keep doing it." 

Perhaps we're driven by the belief that another person's approval will change what we believe about ourselves. But even if someone does praise us, we will not accept the compliment unless we believe it to be true.

Constantly seeking approval from others does not work because we are giving someone else the power to decide how we should feel about ourselves. That power and authority should be with us.
Next month we will continue looking at these limiting beliefs and ways to handle them.