Many of us grew up with the cartoon character Popeye. The script is real obvious: Popeye gets into a situation where he is overpowered. In most of the cartoons, the one overpowering Popeye is Bluto. During the fight Popeye is getting creamed. When he has had enough, Popeye pulls out his spinach. Then something amazing happens after he eats his spinach. Popeye miraculously changes from a powerless victim to one who can defeat any opposition.

Imagine the difference Popeye's spinach could make in our lives. With our own psychological 'spinach' we could move from feeling powerless and afraid to feeling strong. After being criticized or put down, we could pull out our spinach to empower ourselves. When we are hurt by someone, we could pull out our spinach to remind us that we are okay. After failing at something like a relationship, we could pull out our spinach that would remind us that the word 'failure' a verb - not an adjective. With the power of the psychological spinach we could turn our hardships and disappointments into events that makes us stronger.

What would be our spinach? How do we empower ourselves? Since there are many ways of empowering ourselves, I would like to offer a few for our consideration.

Our psychological spinach may be our learning to forgive others. When we cannot forgive, we are giving someone else our power. Remember that forgiveness doesn't mean that we are condoning or approving a hurt someone gave us. Forgiveness is taking away the power we give to the hurt and to the offender. By so doing, we give ourselves the power to release ourselves and heal.

For some of us, our spinach might be our claiming compliments and affirmations that others give us. Start believing in our higher self. I love the response one elderly lady gave after I complimented about how well she did on a project. I said, 'You did a great job today!' Her response was, 'Oh, you are just saying that because it is true!' She was right. I was saying it because it was true. Instead of discounting my compliment, she claimed it. It is a good response when someone pays us a compliment to say, 'Thanks, I will claim that.' We need to claim the things we want to believe about ourselves.

Sometimes when we look at ourselves in the mirror we do not see that higher self. We see the face and descriptions that we have been conditioned by society to see. We may see someone who is not attractive or intelligent. Wouldn't it be great to see the face of how our best friends see us, our children see us or, ultimately, how God sees us? With this kind of spinach, we could take the risks and love the way we desire.

Dr. William E. Austin is a licensed psychotherapist and holds a Doctor of Divinity degree. He is a therapist with Tidewater Pastoral Counseling Services . He is well known for his warmth and sense of humor. His book, Creating Our Safe Place - Articles on Healthy Relationships, can be purchased through www.amazon.com.

Tidewater Pastoral Counseling: 623-2700