So often we concentrate on who we love, sometimes on who does not love us. Perhaps we could benefit most by focusing on who loves us.

It was my sister who said to me fairly recently that she was thinking that both she and I have 3 people whom we know will always, absolutely, love us. "I have John, Mum, and you," she said, "and you have Terry, Mum, and me." I added, "And Elaine," my best friend for 36 years now who is my "other sister." "Oh yes, Elaine, of course," she agreed graciously.

It is not that my sister is not loved by her 3 great children, now mostly grown, or that both of us do not have others who love us. She was just making a point with the 3 who we each know will simply always be there for us.

It is a pleasant thought to know that there are people whose love we can truly count on and we both reflected on how blessed we are to have each other and these others who know us totally and still love us totally. How wonderful it would be if every one of us in this world had 3 people we could count on to love us forever.

I believe that having even one person who truly loves us can be a saving grace if we but recognize his or her great gift.

Let's each think about who it is who really, truly loves us. I believe that having even one person who truly loves us can be a saving grace if we but recognize his or her great gift. It is human nature to mope around mooning over "the one who got away" or even just the one who doesn't love us as completely as we believe we deserve to be loved. Did you ever get a moment of solice by focusing on such feelings? I didn't either.

When I reflect on being loved, by my sister or Mum or husband or best friend, I feel that warm glow, that deep down peace that the knowledge that someone really loves me brings.

When we "fall in love" we think our beloved is the end all and greatest love there ever was and that it will last forever and ever, but too often it turns out that what we believed was love was something else indeed. Real love is the kind that really does last forever regardless of the hurts and blunders that periodically test any relationship. Often, the bumps just prove to us that nothing will shake off what we feel way, way down inside.

My greatest blessings in life have come in the form of people like these:

This picture was taken at Thanksgiving 1999 of the females in my family. I love each one of them and thank each one of them for the love they give to me. My mother, Kay Ferrick, sister, Ann May, niece, Anne May, daughter, Natalie East, and granddaughter, Heather Ireland, and me.

Thirty six years as best friends whether living near, as now, or hundreds, even thousands of miles away, as in some years.

Terry Lee Barnard and I will celebrate our third anniversary this Valentine's day. We had been friends for 2 decades first and that is the best foundation for a good marriage. This picture was taken when I had red hair 2 years ago, but it is still my favorite. My friend and former Shopper Sales Manager, Lin Olsen, took the picture.

Susan Krohn, who gave the word Partner a special place in my heart.

I am so very tempted to take advantage of my publication and go on listing more of the people who have been my glue or my joy or even my sorrow, but nevertheless gave me love in my life, never a small gift. For all kinds of reasons, I cannot do that here. You know who you are because you are the ones who love me, as I love you. Thanks from the bottom of my heart for the love you choose/chose to give me.

Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 39 years.