For years now my mother has been saying, 'Don't buy anything for me!' And she means it. She is at an age where accumulating 'things' is the last thing she wants. Rather, she sends my sister and I back from visits to her apartment in New England with items she wants to get rid of but doesn't want to throw away. With all this in mind, she presents a challenge on such occasions as Mother's Day.

The best present I've ever given my mother, or anyone for that matter, is an electronic gadget installed in her car that allows her to start the car from inside her apartment, and thus the air conditioner or heater. I gave her one of these about 9 years ago and she raved about it over and over again throughout those 9 years. My mother has a very, very narrow range of tolerance for temperature comfort and this gadget allowed her to step into a warm or a cool car at will. If I had a dollar for every time she has thanked me, exuberantly, I'd be rich.

Mum has finally just bought another car. I couldn't wait to say, 'Have the gadget put in this car and I'll give it to you for Mother's Day.' She was thrilled. I was thrilled. Seldom do we get a chance in life to repeat a spectacular success. My sister offered to split the cost. 'No way,' was my selfish reply. I want all this glory for myself.

My sister has always been innovative with her gift ideas and everyone in the family awaits her presents. Her best idea for Mum began years ago when the 'no presents' for me began. She sent Mum money to take her sisters out to lunch. Anyone can send money, but sending it for a specific purpose that starts a new tradition is genius.

There are always presents we can give to those who have everything, whether that means everything money can buy or everything a person can stand to fit into her home. I've even found a present that rivals the 'gadget for the car' present. I call my mother every day, or very close to every day. It's present to both of us, it turns out. She thanks me all the time.

Mum says it keeps her feeling, 'connected, rather than alone in the apartment.' As for me, where can any one of us ever find someone who is more happy to hear from us than our mother is? And who else listens to whatever we wish to say with more rapt attention? We never hang up without telling each other that we love each other and it doesn't get better than that. I tear up just writing it.

There are all kinds of presents that are wonderful. I love presents, giving them and receiving them. They come in all sizes, price ranges, and enthusiasms.

I once received an expensive gift where the best part was actually having to follow a trail of cards that led to the box itself. The enthusiasm of the giver was as wonderful as the gift.

I've received many wonderful bouquets over the years, some exquisite roses, some glorious arrangements, many from a daughter as beautiful as the flowers themselves. Two of the many meaningful floral gifts were hand picked. Each was held behind a back and then presented with great love - a single flower picked in the yard and given with smiles that still warm my heart. One was from my husband, the other from a little boy who loved his Mom.

Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 39 years.