Those of us who like to talk need to be careful not to hypnotize ourselves with the sound of our own voice. There is a danger in becoming enthralled with our own soliloquy. Chances are that our listener will not be equally enthralled.
Let someone else talk!
I think the tendency to monopolize conversations is the surest block to friendship. Friends who just do not let anyone else do more than listen need to know how awkward it is to be with them for any length of time.
Sadly, we do not tell them. Our desire to be polite holds us back, even as they are oblivious to the art of two-way conversation.
What happens is that constant talkers won't be invited to many intimate get-togethers. We want to share time with those who are as interested in what someone else has to say as they are with what they contribute to a conversation.
Because the serial speaker seems clueless that he or she is 'talking and can't shut up' we all need to ask ourselves if others might think this describes us! Do we really enjoy talking? When we get spun up, do we go on and on? Do we repeat what we have just said over and over?
Because the serial speaker seems clueless that he or she is 'talking and can't shut up' we all need to ask ourselves if others might think this describes us!
It is a good idea to check this out.
After talking with a friend, can we remember what, if anything, they said? If not, how about asking them if we monopolized the conversation and if that is a constant problem.
No one is popular who speaks but can't listen. We do no one a favor by not responding truthfully if they ask us for feedback - (as unlikely as that may be). Perhaps we can answer simply: "On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most talkative, your share of most conversations is a 10." Well, perhaps that is too honest. Maybe, "On a scale of 1-10, you are often an 8 to 9."
The trick is to look in the mirror and ask ourselves, "Could I be one of these talkers?" If we can't think of someone else who is, then maybe it is us!
Tell me gently....
Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 38 years.
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