I have been going through a metamorphosis, and it is high time. For instance, those who know me well will testify to my lack of an organizational bent. That is, until now.
I'm not certain what triggered my desire to become organized, but it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. Try as I would, and I did many, many times, to be better organized, I could do little more than end up with many neat piles - for perhaps a week. But I am on a tear now and it is not a phase. It is a pure desire to be organized.
That is the difference. I desire to be organized. It isn't something I have to do - it is something I want to do. "Want" is too mild a term. It has become something I love to do.
I just spent a Saturday throwing out paperwork I'll never need again nor want to see again. I've never done drugs, but I sure know what a high feels like, and the feeling I had when getting rid of needless papers was nothing short of giddy.
Over time I've been able to recognize unpleasant
reactions I have in particular situations. While I want to figure out where they originated, I really just have to realize what triggers them, recognize when they manifest and resolve to get a grip.
I've also been getting rid of clothing and it doesn't even have to be the wrong size or out-of-date. It can be just that I don't wear it and never will. Oh, the thrill of it all.
I, like so many, have ridden the scale up and down most of my life. But in November 2009 I had an epiphany. Diets don't work. I was never going to take weight off and keep it off if I didn't make a real change. I gave up sweets.
A half pound a week came off. Slowly. Small change. Big difference.
I am very happy with almost any sign of progress. Direction is the important thing. I congratulate myself on very small things. I celebrate - just without the cookies!
Everyone has faults, and I decided having faults isn't anything to be ashamed of as long as I could make myself identify them and determine to work on being better. Over time, I've been able to recognize unpleasant reactions I have in particular situations. While I want to figure out where they originated, I really just have to realize what triggers them, recognize when they manifest and resolve to get a grip.
To do or not to do is really the question. So how does one throw the switch?
For me, it seems I thought about all of it and truly wanted something different. I want neat files where there is a place for everything and everything is in its place. I want to be healthier and weigh less. I want to wear clothes that help me feel good about myself. I want to respond, not react.
There is no mystery about how to accomplish all of the above. Make small changes and keep at them.
And I asked myself one small question: If not now, when?
Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 38 years.
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