The two quickest answers we give are polar opposites - Yes or No. Such little words with so much accountability!

We tend to favor one or the other, creating a default tendency. Some of us whip out a No automatically, regardless of the question asked. "Would you like to..." becomes a question too often left unfinished as the standard No inerrupts.

Let's reset our default answer to "Yes!"

While No is a dead end street, Yes can be a highway to Disney World.

The trick is to not get stuck in a rut,
especially after a life-changing event.
Like cats, we tend to want to lick our wounds.
We will find plenty of time to do that
without missing any opportunity to "get out of ourselves."

After a painful divorce long ago, I made a simple decision to say Yes to all invitations from friends and I stuck to it. The most bizarre got me out of bed at 10 pm and out to the oceanfront to a small party when an old friend called and insisted I come meet the interesting people attending. Almost two decades later I can recall the wonderful conversations I enjoyed that evening.

The trick is to not get stuck in a rut, especially after a life-changing event. Like cats, we tend to want to lick our wounds. We will find plenty of time to do that without missing any opportunity to "get out of ourselves."

I remember my grandmother as being the ultimate good sport. She was always ready - and eager - at a moment's notice, to go anywhere with anyone. While my grandfather liked sitting in his chair, Grammy was the life of any party. She'd climb in a car full of kids at a time when seat belts were unknown, hold one child in her lap and go happily off to a hockey game at the Boston Gardens. She didn't need to know who was playing or even understand what sport was on the menu. If people asked her to go, she went, joyfully!

My grandmother never seemed to grow old. I think her youthful energy emanated from her default answer - Yes!

There are questions that beg for a No answer but I believe there are many more that simply require a joyful Yes to open up whole new worlds. It's a state of mind that leads to a state of being truly alive.

Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 39 years.