Is there anything we need more and resist as strongly as self awareness?  Not partial awareness, true 360- degree awareness.

While focusing on the positive is something I believe in strongly, I also believe we need a healthy dose of input concerning what we need to improve about ourselves. What we really need is a full perspective. We need to ground ourselves with a positive image of ourselves every bit as much as we need to be 'open for repairs.'

I thrive on sincere praise and believe most everyone does. Who doesn't want to be told we are doing a good job or have been a friend during a difficult time or almost anything that tells us we are significant?  But I also appreciate a friend helping me to see what it is about me that they and others notice that I need to improve.

 I was stunned. Me? Selfish?
I had never entertained
such an idea.
But she was right;
I was being selfish.
That was the day I knew I had a best friend forever.

Not telling friends what they really need to know is not friendship.

Even Oprah, with her worldwide adulation, values her best friend Gayle King's honest input.  Maybe Gayle is part of the reason Oprah is so grounded. If no one ever tells us when we misstep, how can we grow to be our highest selves?

I've often related the story about how Elaine Thompson became my best friend so many years ago. We were working together in Employee Development at the old Main Navy building in D.C. and often had lunch together. One day I told her about an incident with my husband and she said, 'You are being selfish.'

I was stunned. Me? Selfish? I had never entertained such an idea. But she was right; I was being selfish.

That was the day I knew I had a best friend forever.

Honesty is something I value highly. When I know I can trust someone to tell me the truth, I am comfortable with them. My sister is another person whom I can always trust to be completely honest with me and it is the highest gift anyone gives me.  Once we know someone loves us even though seeing our drawbacks, it is very affirming.

Any one of us who thinks she or he is perfect is fooling themselves. I've known some who come very close but that is probably because they were open to constructive feedback and acted on that knowledge. Those of us who have friends and loved ones who tell us the truth about ourselves are part of the reason we still have friends and loved ones.

Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 39 years.