In every facet of life someone is a fit or is not a fit. Take love for instance. We 'fall' in love until a few months pass and the initial love either dissipates or moves into the real world. Then the decision is whether or not we are a good fit. If we are, the relationship lasts and, if not, in the end (no matter how long that is) it doesn't.
We have evolved in our business to the point where we all talk about whether or not someone is a good fit with us. It doesn't take us long to figure it out. Usually we know right away. Yes, we look for someone of good character, with essential qualifications, but the fit factor emerges as the final yea or nay.
Anytime we have a choice in our relationships, we should go for the right fit. We don't always have a choice.
When we move into a new neighborhood, we have chosen a home and it comes with neighbors. If we are to live harmoniously, we will accept those neighbors as they are. No matter whether they are people we want to vacation with or not, they are our neighbors and we'd better wave hello. I lucked out on neighbors and I have written about how wonderful they are but not everyone is as fortunate. Accept yours and move on - or literally move on.
When good friends marry someone not a fit for us, we have a decision to make. Grin and bear it or see our old friend only when we get the opportunity to relate one on one.
Nothing begs to be a fit
more than the people
we include in our daily lives.
Let's not try to be 'nice'
in factoring in whether
someone fits or doesn't fit.
Not being a fit
has no negative
However, when someone marries into the family and isn't a fit, we need to do everything we can to acclimate ourselves with them. Family is family. We don't get to choose these people. This is a good time to look in the mirror and tell ourselves that not everyone would choose us either.
There is an old adage to which I heartily ascribe. If you like someone, they probably like you. Conversely, if you do not like someone, the feeling is also mutual. Therefore, as quickly as possible, find something about a new family member to like.
Nothing begs to be a fit more than the people we include in our daily lives. Let's not try to be 'nice' in factoring in whether someone fits or doesn't fit. Not being a fit has no negative implications attached. Two people can be wonderful human beings with many friends but not fit with each other.
Life is simply happier when we spend time with people who are good fits with us. Our close relationships are always good fits. Deciding whether or not someone is a good fit is easy. How do we know? We just know.
Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 38 years.
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