Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

P Publisher’s Point by Jean Loxley-Barnard
Different Faces – Many Mirrors



DIFFERENT FACES – MANY MIRRORS




I find it fascinating to consider how many faces we each have.  A conversation of how we present different personas to different relationships intrigues me. It is a thought I have periodically. It never ceases to fascinate me. 

My focus now is on who we are with various people in our lives. Take grandparents and grandchildren as an example of both a best foot forward and a best face presented. The way the first and third generation see each other is each at his and her very best. If we were all in that interaction all the time, we would be eternally joyous.

Looking at faces in a crowd watching a speaker is extremely interesting. If the speaker is comedic, it is natural to see a variety of happy faces, some smiling, some laughing, but all positive. But make the speech controversial and it will be apparent who agrees, who opposes, and who is weighing the views expressed.



All of us can convey different faces at any given time, for any given reason. However, I find it interesting to note how often we have a distinct face for each of many people. Our best friends will see us in a light that passing acquaintances may never see – and that we have never shown to others. A favorite teacher may see us in a way a rival would not describe. It is interesting to explore how different relationships also see us very differently.

Many of our faces are long established, individual expressions, but can be adjusted when we are conscious of specific situations. When a child is telling us their exciting news, we can adjust a loving face to show real interest. When a friend is grieving, we become serious.

Usually the appropriate look comes to us automatically. That is good news. But the even better news is that we can consciously control our face to transmit just the expression we wish to convey.


My all time favorite lesson in facial messages
was one I learned watching an Oprah show years ago –
20 years ago to be specific! 
I remember the time frame because Oprah’s guest
was speaking about how any one person
can make a huge difference in any child’s life
by lighting up when seeing that child. 
Such a simple thing to do and so very important.


My all time favorite lesson in facial messages was one I learned watching an Oprah show years ago – 20 years ago to be specific! I remember the time frame because Oprah’s guest was speaking about how any one person can make a huge difference in any child’s life by lighting up when seeing that child. Such a simple thing to do and so very important.

That small but incredibly important piece of advice was the best I ever heard. I thought to myself how my face always lit up when I saw my granddaughter. I did not have to project love; love projected itself. But there were other children in my life that I might not have been as spontaneous with and I made a conscious decision to change that. From that moment forward, I determined to light up when seeing a child.

The reward, my friends, is tenfold.




Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - 10 Shopper Magazines, Doctor to Doctor Magazine and Main Street - The Business to Business Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 37 years.