Nothing has ever helped me more than realizing that I am responsible for being who I am. No one ever made me do anything - at least since I was old enough to make my own decisions. How freeing it is to know that.

The beauty of this time of new resolutions is that we are truly, finally, focusing our attention on the only person we can ever improve: ourselves.

We should use every available moment to become our highest selves. That just doesn't happen when we are making note of how someone else should improve or what they 'did to us.'

Often, people are the most critical and disparaging of those with whom they were once very close. Parents, for instance, will do well to speak highly to their child of their child's other parent. Regardless.

I have a friend to whom I give an A+ for speaking highly to her children about their absent father for years. So many others would have succumbed to the temptation to speak ill, thus hurting all concerned. Instead, she gave her children the gift of a good memory and herself the gift of becoming her highest self.

I know when I am in touch with my highest self. I know when I am not. When I am being my highest self, I am peaceful, sometimes joyous. That is a state of being that is worth the effort, whatever it takes.

This is the time of year when we all take stock of what we want to change. The beauty of this time of new resolutions is that we are truly, finally, focusing our attention on the only person we can ever improve: yourselves.

The most popular pursuits are to get thinner and physically fit, to conquer the urge to smoke or drink to excess, or to disspell whatever other demons tempt us. All these are worthy goals.

While we are making ourselves better physically, let us remember our inner selves. Who are we, naked before our maker? Are we who our mothers hoped we'd become?

Inside each of us lies the innocent we once were, can be again. Let's put this on our list: Work on becoming our highest selves.

Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 39 years.