Wednesday, August 12th, 2020

P Publisher’s Point by Jean Loxley-Barnard


I am fascinated by the concept of mirroring. That is when we see in others what is most prominent in ourselves.

Pollyanna is famous for seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. She sees the goodness that is in her.

The concept is most helpful when we take stock of what irritates us most about others. Do we hate to wait for someone but are always late ourselves?

The key to awareness is to remember that the
more irritated we are by something, the more
likely it exists in us.

Surprisingly, we are often blinded to our own glaring faults that we can spot in others at a hundred yards. If we stop and think about it for a moment, someone who does this will pop in to our mind.

I immediately think of a woman who is always complaining about how rude people are. She does not realize that she is very rude on a regular basis and people listen slack jawed when she is ranting about yet another offender who was soooo rude!

Every time I think about her I search for that trait in myself that I am blind to, trying to be more aware of what I complain about most vociferously.

If we are really gutsy we will ask our very dearest friend to gently point out something we can 'work on' that might be escaping our awareness. If we are more cowardly, we might hear ourselves when next we get irate and question if we are being annoyed by a trait we don't acknowledge in ourselves.

The key to awareness is to remember that the more irritated we are by something, the more likely it exists in us.

Who is more anxious when a sweet sixteen daughter is dating - Mom or Dad? It is usually the Dad (who was once a teenage boy).

Oh, Mirror, Mirror on the wall, tell us what everyone
else knows. Therein lies the rub. We are the
only ones who do not know our most glaring faults!

We need to be grateful for this mirroring concept.

It may be the only way we have to discover what no one has the courage to say directly to us.

Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 39 years.