Tuesday, August 11th, 2020

P Publisher’s Point by Jean Loxley-Barnard
Self Image


There's no denying beauty in some people; they are just knockouts.   And some poor souls are born undeniably unattractive. But the other 99% of us fall in-between.   What fascinates me is that almost all of us decide how others see us.  It's how we see ourselves.  Most of our image is self determined.

What we think we are is usually what others perceive.  We can determine, for instance, if we are likeable.  If we like ourselves enough, but not too much, others will like us as well.  They will also like us if we like them.  (Maybe this is because they will admire our good taste.)

If we constantly speak disparagingly about ourselves - I'm too fat, too thin (yes, some think that), too ugly or old or dumb - eventually other people will believe us.  We need to stop and think about that for a minute.  It is not easy to convince others we are clever and attractive after we have convinced them otherwise.  And, it is almost impossible to convince ourselves once we believe it.

What fascinates me
is that almost all of us
decide how others see us. 
It's how we see ourselves.

It is hard to convince ourselves that we are thin if we have always spoken aloud that we are fat; hence, many of us keep gaining weight or regain it once it is lost.  It is hard to believe we can learn if we have always said we can't, so we don't take a course.  How do we think other people get thin and smart?  They tell themselves they can.  Then they believe it and do it.

Let's ease up on ourselves.  We can all be better, but most of us are better than we think.  Can we acknowledge our achievements, at least to ourselves, instead of concentrating on our flaws?  If we can see our strengths, we can develop more.

We listen to our own words.  We can begin to say, 'I can, I will, I am,' not, 'I'll try,' which means 'I won't.'

Look what can happen when someone says, "It's time for a change," believing he is the best he can be.  We can do the same.

Jean Loxley-Barnard has been a writer all her life and studied both sociology and psychology at George Washington University where she earned a B.A. Her company, The Shopper, Inc., encompasses all the Loxley-Barnard family publications - The Shopper Magazines and Doctor to Doctor Magazine. She has been in the advertising, consulting and publishing business for 39 years.